Shutting Down

I have had 2 1/2 very productive weeks that the evil boss has been gone and not looking over my shoulder the whole time I'm here.  I have 2 large projects that could mean a lot of savings for the company that I need to finish for the company and for my reputation which I'm getting a lot of help on, I'd like to finish them.   But, tomorrow is my Friday the boss will be back next week, I'm in class all next week so I'm afraid that progress will be put on hold again.  I'm also hitting a low daily about 3:30 every day I just can't think, my brain stops and nothing makes sense.  What is that??

My oldest daughter has informed me that she's pregnant again.  I've been after to use protection with her low life boyfriend who is now in the hospital after a motorcycle accident leaving him with no hip and a crushed leg.  He's had 3 surgeries out I don't know how many.  In the mean time my daughter is having trouble with this pregnancy and sick daily in the ER already about 3 times in 4 days.  They've decided that it's best to have an abortion.  I'm not ok with that either, this is a lose, lose situation no matter how you look at it.  So, this mom has basically shut down and am allowing her step mom that lives closer to deal with it.  My anger and frustration has gone over the top more than it's ever gone.

One of my older sisters...  Kinda like my daughter.  She brings medical problems on herself by wishing she was sick and saying all the time she's only doing so so or what ever.  She is the worst skeptic, cynic I've ever been around.  She's been in the hospital for brain damage shown in a MRI.  Come to find out she's having silent seizures.  She is feeling sorry for herself cause the law and the doctors aren't letting her drive right now.  It's a constant with her.  So, yes I've shut down on her.  It's been my whole life I've had to listen to her complain, I can't take no more.

Ok, Now I'm going to just look at the positive in my life for now.  I have a wonderful boyfriend, most of the time.  My youngest daughter is amazing and trying hard to get through school and working 2 jobs.  No more of the garbage!!!

Rough Day

A day of bad news really sucks.  Started out finding out my youngest is behind still at school and it's only September, she has till December to get through this semester.  Bed way to start the semester, I can't afford it if she loses her scholarship.   She assures me that all is ok and she's gonna get caught up, all I can do is have faith and do a lot of praying.  I am very proud of her, she is holding down 2 jobs along with full load at school, I do worry thought.

Then my oldest, the mother of my wonderful grandson informs me that there could be another grand-baby on the way.  I'm not supposed to tell anyone right now cause she is not sure she'll keep it or not at the moment.  I don't have a lot to say about this, she's a single mom which was raised by a single mom,  why don't they learn from me?  I am sick to my stomach either way, again, not much to say.  Then her live in lazy good for nothing boyfriend wrecks on his motorcycle having to get flown to Vegas out of Ely because he crushed his hip.  He wrecked cause he was wearing old contacts and couldn't see.  I asked my daughter, isn't that 1 of many red flags?  He can't take care of himself by getting a job, getting new contacts what the hell does she think he's going to be able to do for her and 2 babies??  Ugh...   Not getting started on this either.  I can't talk about this right now.