Cancer

I have had that "C" word in my life way too much and I know it's not done. The biggest intrusion it made was when my dad was diagnosed and died from it. Before that I had a cousin that wasn't very old die of breast cancer. I've had some skin cancer myself. Since my dad died my cousin Doyle passed away from prostate cancer, his daughter in-law died from cancer, my cousin RL died of cancer. Several family members won the battle.

But now again it's staring me in the face. My best girlfriend Kolene is fighting her 4th bought of breast cancer. It's taking a real toll on her this time. It worries me. Thankfully she has such a great outlook on life. I wish I lived closer so I could be of more help to her.

My best friend and lover Doyle has throat cancer. He doesn't drink, smoke or use tobacco and never has. It's basically from that horrible virus we all probably carry. HPV. They think it's laid dormant for years. But because it's from the virus not the other, it's got a 85% cure rate. This is good!! Now just waiting for a surgery schedule. I honestly think this has brought us even closer. I think he sees that I'm sticking by and not running for the hills. It's gonna be a long haul, but should be good at the end. At least it doesn't end like all the others.

Pleasing

This weekend was my youngest daughters 21st birthday. We planned for her to come home and spend the weekend doing fun stuff for her and go out Saturday with family and friends to enjoy Elko night life. She did and we did. It was a good time for the most part. She's still here, having a relaxing day and headed back to school tomorrow. I've totally enjoyed her and I think Doyle enjoyed her and the company as well.

Now in saying that... I realized something else. Thursday night, the 1st day Heather got to town I got sick. Threw up all night. Since I've been not well with the icky belly and mega headache. I still trudged along trying to make it the perfect weekend for my daughter, cause that's what moms do. I tried hard not to let anyone know how icky I truly am feeling. In the mean time I tried to make sure the boyfriend was happy as well. My question to the world. Why do us moms do this to ourselves?

I am cooking dinner tonight that consists of fresh bread, lasagna and salad. A dinner I probably can't eat cause of my stomach. I have a headache from hell and very tired, while my boyfriend and daughter are sitting watching tv. Granted, Heather has homework and she's trying to do it and Doyle cooked and cleaned up breakfast. I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself, no complaining. But would like to know why this happens and why they allow it?

Good Day

Had a nice day today. Went and had Shelby cute and color my hair. Sushi for lunch with Shelby and Heather. Heather went back to Carson (that made me sad). got my nails done. Now home with my honey, I cooked dinner and just hanging out. He seems to be in a better mood than he had been all week, thank goodness.

I did run into some people I've met out at work and nice people. 1 said she will keep informed if she hears of a position for me to get out of my hell I'm in now.

I am hoping the rest of the weekend wil be just as good.

Favorite New Years Eve.

The last couple days I have been thinking about my favorite New Years Eve's in the past. The more I thought about it, I've not had very many to brag about, but I do have a few good ones.

In Ely, Nv where I grew up, they have Fireman's Ball on every New Years Ev that my parents attended. I remember them coming home with the hats and horns and I used to wish I was old enough to go. They would dress up so nice and it seemed like they had such a great time. When I was finally old enough to go I didn't live in Ely but my husband (at the time) and I went back a couple times and went, then u went a time or 2 after my divorce. They were always a lot of fun, seeing old friends and stuff. I'm not sure if they even have the ball any more or not?

When I was raising the girls we would hang at my sisters and have a few drinks and watch movies. My girls loved those New Years Eve's the most.

My favorite that comes to mind I believe was the in coming 2005. My friend Chuck owned a bar in the little town at the base of the Ruby Mountains. He usually hosted a New Years Eve party at the bar. That afternoon I was in having lunch with some family. I told him I wouldn't come out unless he'd be there as well. He said he would and we had a great time. Yes, we drank a lil to much, but made new friends, had laughs with old friends and danced a lot. After the new year he and I broke a 13 year agreement of not crossing the line. The next morning we had breakfast and went our separate ways. We are still good friends and have crossed the line a few other times. But that one night was very special.

Now being with My boyfriend we haven't had a New Years Eve really. He's gone to bed early both times. Granted, this year he is sick. Thankfully Heather, my daughter was here so I wasn't alone like last year. I think I'm do for a grand New Years Eve. I have a year to figure out what that might be!!