Smells and Memories

Because of my boyfriend, our house has had a lot of yummy smells which in turn caused a lot of wonderful memories.  He's a great baker, he makes a Kahlua cake that is unforgettable.  But, lately he's been making bread pudding and cinnamon rolls.  It's a complete wonder why I'm not 400lbs, but if he keeps it up, I will be!  But the cinnamon rolls and the bread pudding smell like my moms, and a couple of my aunts houses.  I remember my aunt Doris's and aunt Tez's kitchens always have those yummy baking smells.  Aunt Doris is still alive and and aunt Tez has been gone a long time.  You can still walk into Aunt Doris's house and smell freshly baked something.  It makes me feel like home like my mom is still around, she quite making this stuff when I was little but I remember how comforting it was having those smells. 

Mom always made her own egg noodles for chicken noodle soup, so now I'm trying to make it today and yup, smells like mom has been in the kitchen all day.  I sure hope it tastes as good as moms..  These smells seems like she is right here these days with me.  Honestly I've not felt her presents since she passed away, but lately I feel her often, maybe due to the smells.  It sure feels good to have these smells and the memorise that come with them.

I miss you mom and ALL my aunts!

Tests

I feel like I'm being tested all the time any more.  My love life, my family life, at work and now physically. 

Doyle is a normal typical man, I'd like the think so anyway, but I feel like I'm being tested or he's testing my love all the time.  Now I've been single a long time before him and I'm not sure if this is normal or not?  I know from being from a home where my parents stayed together till the day they died (like to believe they are still together).  I believe that relationships take work on both parts.  But, sometimes I think I'm doing all the work!  One day I'd like to find out this is normal and not a test.

My family I love them so much it hurts but again, some days I think they like to test us all to see if really we are there for them.  Some feel sorry for themselves till they are so sick and expect the rest of us to pick them up and dust them off.  While others are so freaking tough they deal with stuff all alone and don't let us help/or just talk (be a shoulder) until it gets really bad.  Then there are the others that their problems are because of a messed up court system, you hurt for them and don't have a clue how to make them feel better or fix it.  Then the ones that are truly sick and keep a smile on their face all the time no matter what and never complains, the true strong ones.   All of them forgetting that you may have your own problems and issues and needing them as much as they need you, is this a test or what is it?

Work, I don't know how to explain that.  My new boss is young and all gunge ho, wanting to impress the higher ups and have so many ideas.  He moves at light speed from one project to the next never finishing anything.  In the mean time, him and the new guy are buddy buddy kissing all the higher ups.  He has the whole department but me finish our KPI's, which have a large weigh on our bonuses, but I've discovered he didn't have me finish mine?  What is that?  I feel I'm being set up on a constant basis cause I'm not kissing his ass, but the managers and I have a great repor.  I've applied for other positions to try and get out of a department that I've enjoyed these last 3 years, the learning and the experiences, but have had no luck.  Yesterday one of the positions I found out was filled from someone from outside of the company and she didn't even show up for the New Hire class.  But do you think they will hire me for it when I'm more than qualified?  But, it must be a test of something that I'm stuck with this over zealous, eager, judgmental piece of crap!

Physical tests...  I have had a icky stomach now for years, I'm thinking at least 3.  Yes, I have the family inherited IBS that most of us all have.  This that I've had lately is not like that at all.   There were mornings I swore if I didn't know better I'd think I was pregnant.  The pain is up high under my rib cage, mainly in the center.  I sometimes am constipated then other times I have mega diarhea. (Sorry, I know that's gross).   Then when all that gets going it causes things like my IBS to get started as well sometimes.  When it's going full throttle, I feel like I have a knife going clear through me to my back even.  Today I am having tests to see if it's my gallbladder.  Honestly, I hope that is what it is, I'm having night mares that it's something more.  When I was being examined the other day she also mentioned that my thyroid was enlarged, so they are doing a ultrasound on that as well today.  I've NEVER had thyroid issues and I just was blood tested and it turned out normal, so what the hell?  Praying all goes well!!

I hope I pass at least 4 of these tests!  ha ha ha

I think Winter is here!

Getting up at 4 am and leaving for work at 5 is rough, but once the cold starts settling in, this girl turns into a big old baby. This last week it's been like 25 degrees when I leave the house to head to work. Then the HVAC system at work just sucks. We freeze year round most of the time. I sat in a training room most of the day yesterday and had to come up to my desk on the breaks and crank my floor heater to warm up. But, because there were two of us wimps doing the same thing we blew the circuit several times. So, besides the crappy HVAC system it's also a crappy wiring system. The world's larges gold company and you'd think these things could get fixed.

On another note, life has been good.  The motor home and the boat are now winterized and the snow mobiles are ready to roll.  We don't have any snow yet, but the forecast is calling for it this weekend.  If we get some snow the chukar hunting will be better than it has as well, so I'm sure we'll be doing a lot of that as well.

I think Doyle and I have been getting better, our issues seem to be going away little by little.  I don't nag him or sit him down for a talk.  We just visit and then sometimes tease but saying stuff that makes him think and he realizes that I have a good point.  The man has cooked dinner the last couple weeks a few times and even cleaned up dinner.  We are making progress and we both seem much happier.  Of course we still have other issues to work on, but one step at a time!  I happen to be the happiest I've ever have been, so we have some flaws, so be it!

Well, I'm at work so I guess I best get some work done.  Happy start of Winter all!

Shutting Down

I have had 2 1/2 very productive weeks that the evil boss has been gone and not looking over my shoulder the whole time I'm here.  I have 2 large projects that could mean a lot of savings for the company that I need to finish for the company and for my reputation which I'm getting a lot of help on, I'd like to finish them.   But, tomorrow is my Friday the boss will be back next week, I'm in class all next week so I'm afraid that progress will be put on hold again.  I'm also hitting a low daily about 3:30 every day I just can't think, my brain stops and nothing makes sense.  What is that??

My oldest daughter has informed me that she's pregnant again.  I've been after to use protection with her low life boyfriend who is now in the hospital after a motorcycle accident leaving him with no hip and a crushed leg.  He's had 3 surgeries out I don't know how many.  In the mean time my daughter is having trouble with this pregnancy and sick daily in the ER already about 3 times in 4 days.  They've decided that it's best to have an abortion.  I'm not ok with that either, this is a lose, lose situation no matter how you look at it.  So, this mom has basically shut down and am allowing her step mom that lives closer to deal with it.  My anger and frustration has gone over the top more than it's ever gone.

One of my older sisters...  Kinda like my daughter.  She brings medical problems on herself by wishing she was sick and saying all the time she's only doing so so or what ever.  She is the worst skeptic, cynic I've ever been around.  She's been in the hospital for brain damage shown in a MRI.  Come to find out she's having silent seizures.  She is feeling sorry for herself cause the law and the doctors aren't letting her drive right now.  It's a constant with her.  So, yes I've shut down on her.  It's been my whole life I've had to listen to her complain, I can't take no more.

Ok, Now I'm going to just look at the positive in my life for now.  I have a wonderful boyfriend, most of the time.  My youngest daughter is amazing and trying hard to get through school and working 2 jobs.  No more of the garbage!!!

Rough Day

A day of bad news really sucks.  Started out finding out my youngest is behind still at school and it's only September, she has till December to get through this semester.  Bed way to start the semester, I can't afford it if she loses her scholarship.   She assures me that all is ok and she's gonna get caught up, all I can do is have faith and do a lot of praying.  I am very proud of her, she is holding down 2 jobs along with full load at school, I do worry thought.

Then my oldest, the mother of my wonderful grandson informs me that there could be another grand-baby on the way.  I'm not supposed to tell anyone right now cause she is not sure she'll keep it or not at the moment.  I don't have a lot to say about this, she's a single mom which was raised by a single mom,  why don't they learn from me?  I am sick to my stomach either way, again, not much to say.  Then her live in lazy good for nothing boyfriend wrecks on his motorcycle having to get flown to Vegas out of Ely because he crushed his hip.  He wrecked cause he was wearing old contacts and couldn't see.  I asked my daughter, isn't that 1 of many red flags?  He can't take care of himself by getting a job, getting new contacts what the hell does she think he's going to be able to do for her and 2 babies??  Ugh...   Not getting started on this either.  I can't talk about this right now.

2011 Fall Vacation

We headed out for Lake Powell, AZ/UT on September 3rd, me unknowing what was ahead. I knew we were set to stay on our little 14 ft aluminum boat for 3 nights somewhere on the massive lake of 182 miles lake down the canyons of the Colorado River, but really had no clue what was ahead. It took nearly 11 hours to arrive in Page AZ. Stopped in Ely to get fuel and visit my daughter and grandson. Doyle looked at her car giving me bad news that she needs a new car. We stopped in Cedar City for lunch/dinner at the Sizzler, Worst steak I ever had and I know better. Crossing the bridge at dusk looking at the massive dam I was in awh. What a beautiful site, I began to get even more excited at that point.

Once in Page, we still needed to get more supplies, gas for the boat, more food and ice. Doyle parked at Walmart way off on the side, at that point I figured out his plan, we were going to camp at the Page, AZ Walmart parking lot. This is something he’s always wanted to do, at least it wasn’t at the Elko Walmart. Mark that off his bucket list! By the time we went shopping and got the boat all situated it was about 11 pm and time to go to bed, we were pooped. Doyle woke me up the next morning, Sunday, September 4th, at 6 am AZ time. It’s like, “Dude, I’m on vacation, I need to sleep in!”. Not with that man, not in his vocabulary. We finished up getting ice and getting the boat ready to go. We really worried if that poor boat would float with all that stuff in there. Bedding, tent, food, drinks, fuel, ect… to last two people 3 days. Launched the boat at the Stateline ramp and it floated with no problem. Looking around the other boats being launched I realized we are the only ones launching a little fishing boat, all the others were big speed boats, house boats, big fishing boats and jet skis. But it didn’t matter I was on vacation and headed for and adventure I’ve never been on before.

We took off down the lake, Doyle having a map of the lake in hand. Now remember, I’m from NE NV, have never done anything like this before, just at the marina there is a lot more water than I’m really used to. Once he was showing me where we were headed I started to slowly get the idea of the size of the lake. Because that little boat was so loaded and our 20 horse power motor couldn’t push the weight that well, we were traveling at 13 mph. Took us 2 hours to get to mile marker 38, at that point Doyle decided to find a shady beach and we can set up camp there. We didn’t get as far down the lake as he wanted to, but we were going so slowly and the water was so choppy due to all the boats. It’s crazy that much water and all those boats affect that water so much. The beach (I) picked was over behind the floating outhouse. We thought that would be convenient since we weren’t in a house boat, we were tent camping. Doyle said the mornings on that beach would be hot and it would stay hot till 2 in the afternoon, but he allowed me to still pick it. The ones he wanted were rocky, but would have been much shadier. We got everything loaded and the tent set up and the bed made. We were getting ready to go fishing and more site seeing, I walk up behind some rocks, hear a little rucous in the brush right behind me as I bend down to pee and look over and there is a snake. My worst fear ever!! I went running down the beach screaming with my pants ½ way down and jumped in the boat. Doyle is going, “what the hell?” I told him and he went to look for it, he didn’t have anything to kill it, no guns aloud on the lake, our shovel was a little fold up one. But, yup it was a rattler. So he moved it back way far and we went fishing. When we returned that evening, and every time after that, I made him get out 1st and do snake check. That silly damn snake stayed right there and never left. I have to say, it made it hard to sleep or relax.

We didn’t catch anything the 1st night, was a little bummed especially after hearing all the stories of all the fish they caught on their trips there. We found a rocky place (no sand) that was easy to get onto and stuff to get into the water to take a bath and clean up before we headed back to camp. That water everywhere is deep, made me nervous but the water felt good. I had premade some taco meat before we left and froze it, so the 1st night we heated up the taco meat and I had the precut veggies for the tacos. Was a good dinner for two very tired people. I don’t think I slept much that night, our tent was really thin and you could see the stars through the tent, which was pretty cool. The coyotes were loud the whole night and again, the thought of that damn snake joining us, I didn’t sleep.

Once the sun rose and went directly into the tent, it felt like we were on fire it was so hot. So we got up quickly and had breakfast, got dressed and got ready to go site seeing some more and fishing. I finally caught a couple of fish; I caught my very 1st blue gill, strange looking fish. We caught some small mouth bass as well. Doyle took me up the lake another 20 miles to the Rainbow Bridge. We had to hike up about 20 yards to see it. Was so beautiful. There we met a older rich couple, the woman wouldn’t shut up, talk talk talk, about how many years she has been on that lake and so on. But some of the stuff she told us was very interesting. They pointed out where some of the side wall (all are sand stone) had fallen just a few weeks before that. I think if I was anywhere near where some fell that would really make me mess my pants. It’s not small stuff that falls, its big stuff! Getting back in the boat to leave and there are these big fish swimming up to the boat as if they were begging for food. Doyle said that is what they are doing, they were carp wanting food. They have no teeth so they just suck in the food or your finger. Was pretty cool to feed them, I was getting a kick out of it, everyone around us laughed at me. When we left there we found a little tight canyon to investigate in, which we did often the whole time we were there, this one opened up and had like an overhang were we could get under for shade to have lunch. It was so peaceful in places like that and surreal. Here I am again, finding myself in a state of awh enjoying my honey and my lunch.

We started back down the lake, he had another place in mind to show me, but he got confused and we headed down the wrong direction. We probably went 20 miles to far the other way, but was able to see the Whole In the Wall where the Mormons went up with their wagons to get out of the canyon. Once he realized we were headed the wrong direction we headed back down towards our camp but it was still about 20 miles away. We stopped at the Dangling Rope Marina ½ way there. It’s a marina that is only accessed by boat, all supplies are shipped there on boats and barges. They have fueling stations for house boats and dumping stations. Bathrooms, a little convenience store and a grill. We stopped so I could check it out and got soft serve ice cream. The workers stay there 5 days a week and then go to the main marina 2 days for their days off. The lil gal we talked to was from Pennsylvania working the summer. She said it was free room and board, great way to save money. My Heather would probably like a gig like that I thought. We still had a lot of gas, so we didn’t think we needed any, we just hung out there for a big and I fed the silly carp hanging out there as well. I was amazed the boats that came and went from all sizes and the people who were on them. It’s hard to believe the country is hurting so bad right now being in a place like that. Every corner you turn larger house boats and speed boats and toys everywhere. Then here was us in our little fishing boat cruising along, but it was so much fun, bumpy, but fun! We explored more tight little canyons, did some fishing till time to head back to the camp spot. We found a little spot a little easier to take a bath to wash our hair and stuff. Then went back to our beach with Doyle checking for the snake before me getting out. We had pre-marinated steaks and pork chops, so we bbq’d the steaks and heated up some green beans and had potato salad. Was a great dinner to end to a great day.

During the night it started to rain, remember I told you our tent was thin, well it went through the tent. It wasn’t bad, but enough for us to wake up. So, we decided to move to the boat and cover up with the tarp that Doyle had pre-prepped for just in case this type of thing happening. We moved all the important stuff we didn’t want to get wet into the boat, Doyle covered us up and we slept so much better there than in the tent anyway. We woke up the next morning again when the sun came out, man that little bugger there is hot! So we went across the little cove we were in to the shady side and went back to sleep probably for a couple more hours, thank goodness I was tired. Once up and moving we went and got dressed and had some breakfast and headed out down the canyon we were staying in. This canyon had 3 arms, we explored 1 the 1st night we were there, so we decided to explore the rest today , the longest had to be about 10 miles back. Remind you, the water level is way up from years past and having a little boat is an advantage, we can duck into little places most cannot. Many times though we encountered jet ski’s in those tight places. I feared for my life a couple of times. We caught some fish, we stopped at a beach and played in the water some and just relaxed. Got back to the beach about 5:30 that night and cooked up the chops and more green beans and salad. At that point the water calmed way down almost smooth. Doyle suggested that we load up and head back to the motor home tonight since the water is smooth and would be cooler than going back in the morning, but if we go it has to be right away, we only had 2 ½ hours of day light. Of course I said let’s go!! So we headed back to the Stateline Marina, the sunset was so amazing; we took a ton of pictures. We were able to run at 20 mph since we didn’t have as much stuff in the boat such as fuel, ice, food cause we’ve used it, we were much lighter at that point. We loaded the boat, took out what needed to be taken out that night and took nice warm showers and went to bed, right there in the marina parking lot.

It’s now Wednesday, September 7th. Doyle surprisingly slept in, it was me waking up saying come on, before it gets too hot, let’s get back on the lake. My sweet boyfriend cooked breakfast after me suggesting I wanted a nice cooked breakfast instead of cereal (not my favorite thing). Then, we finished cleaning out the boat and restocking the cooler with drinks and lunch stuff. We then launched a much lighter boat and headed back down the lake but towards the dam to see the lake side of the dam. Then there is another cut (kind of a circle) over to another marina where there are MORE fancy house boats docked and a couple really cool canyons. We spent the day site seeing and doing some fishing, but honestly the fishing sucked. We think it’s cause the water was so high, there were tons of babies all over and the big fish were full and sitting on the bottom of the lake were it was cooler. We arrived back at the marina around 6 or so and loaded up, completely. Was time to move on, but I didn’t want to head for home, so he decided we’ll go with original plan and head down to Vegas and Lake Mead. We stopped at Sonic for a burger before heading out. Doyle drove till he was tired; we stayed on the side of the road on the Hurricane, UT hill. I think we were both so exhausted neither of us heard any traffic till morning, I did, however, here the coyotes again. I think they are haunting me for some reason.

We got up the next morning and had some breakfast (quick, not cooked) and headed down the road. We got to St. George and stopped for fuel and I called my cousin Holly that lives there and visited letting her know we were passing through but didn’t have time to stop. Once arriving in Vegas Doyle connected with his sister and we met up with her and went to her house at Lake Vegas. This place ticks me off by the way. Lake Powell is being drained an inch a day to fill up Lake Mead since Vegas needs the water, then this Lake Vegas pumps water into this manmade lake so these rich people have a lake to live by. Not right! But, Debbie and her husband Jack have a real nice home, not someplace or home I’d live in, but was really nice. We then went to a Port of Subs for lunch with her since it had a large parking lot to park the motor home and boat in. After lunch we went on our way down towards the Hoover Dam, were we went over the new bridge, the walls are so high you can’t see the dam. This really bummed me out, I’ve not seen the dam since I was like 3 years old. We went several miles down the road and pulled off and went down to a place called Willow Beach, on the Colorado below the Hoover dam. We launched there, the water temp was about 55 degree’s but the air was about 100 degrees. Again, the canyon was beautiful, we went up river to the base (as close as they would let us get) that was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. The river currant we figured was going about 10 mph, it made me nervous but it was cool. We saw big horn sheep, hawks and lots of people kayaking down the river. I think that would be fun! That was about another 20 miles up and back if not more in the boat, at this point we probably put 200 miles on our little boat in 4 days. We left there and headed to a little place called Meadview, AZ were some of Doyle’s friends live. What a middle of now where place with tons of Joshua Trees. The wife is wacked out, a drunk and his sister says she’s a drug addict, but she claimed the whole time we where there she was off the prescription meds?

There at Dan and Tina’s is set for 6 Motor Homes, theirs is one of those million dollar busses that wasn’t homey at all, very cold feeling. They are full time RV’ers is how Tina explained it, but staying at their “home base” because they are in the process of building a brand new home down the way from there RV park they built. They had several sheds, one with a new jeep in it, another with a shower, toilet, washer and dryer in it and I don’t know what the others had in it. We sat on their patio in front of their bus that night when we arrived. Tina is a very bossy woman, talked Doyle into drinking vodka and 7 when he gets allergic reaction to it, she tells me to go into the bus with her to help her make the drinks. At that point, I realized what I heard about her she’s that and then some, she’s crazy! Doyle ended up having 2 100 proof vodka’s and 7’s by the time we went to bed and we now know how much the bus costs and that they struck oil in S. Dakota and whatever else the woman could brag on. Dan was so quiet and could tell that he got upset when she talked/bragged about stuff, but he puts up with it, stops her once and awhile but not often.

The next morning we got up and went with her (Dan already at the construction site) to see the new house then we went to a local little place for breakfast. Once back at the RV Park Tina got out the Jeep Wrangler for us to use to go over to Grand Canyon West where the Skywalk is. After going the 35 miles, 15 on a dirt bump road we arrive and there are helicopters all over going and coming, an air strip with sever fixed wings going and coming and a bunch of buildings along with a large white tent type building. We are directed to go into the tent and it was a gift shop and you buy your tickets here. Holy cow are they making a killing, people everywhere! The bus ride over to the Skywalk and a couple different viewpoints was $44 a piece; to walk on the walk thing was another $30 a piece. We didn’t get the walk ticket, there would be no way would I walk on that!! Once we get to where it’s at we get off the bus and start looking around, the edge of the canyon is that, the edge, no railings no nothing. No one could get near the Skywalk cause of lighting threat and they didn’t anticipate it opening again for 2 hours. It was pretty the view and all, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not the “Grand Canyon” like they advertise. The river doesn’t even run under the walk. It was a lot of money and we seen better views all week than what they were selling there. I felt so bad that I had Doyle spend $90 on this rip off, but my curiosity is now satisfied even though I didn’t get to walk up to the Skywalk. We then drove back to the Dan & Tina’s, Tina wanted to take us down to Lake Mead so we drove that 15 miles down to see the lake and visited with them, we then went back to the Park and had hamburgers. After dinner we headed back to the construction site to watch the sunset over the lake, but the storm clouds kind of ruined that and my tummy started acting up. So, back to the Park again. I stayed in our motor home that night while Doyle visited with them, again he had his alcohol, I so will remember this next time he gives me a bad time about wanting a drink.

Saturday, September 10th morning we get up early and head down the road, I wanted to try and make my grandsons birthday party in Ely at 2 pm NV time. Because of this we didn’t get to go down to the damn again and see it, but when we crossed it, I stood on the seat of the motor home and looked down, forgetting to take pictures dang it. The smell of the holding tanks due to my tummy ache was coming up into the living area and choking us both down, so along the way we found a spot to get it dumped. We stopped in Ash Springs and I visited with my cousin Chris for about 5 minutes and back on the road. Getting to Ely about 2:20, missing my grandsons party it started to pour down rain, so Dani, my daughter called and said just meet them at McDonalds. So we spent probably an hour and ½ there visiting and playing with my little guy. Was a nice, but quick visit. We finally arrived in Elko around 6 pm that night. We did some emptying of the motor home and picked up dinner and kicked back happy and exhausted, but it was one of the most wonderful vacations I’ve ever had in my whole life!!! I never would have imagined the scenery we seen, I’m so ready to go back, but next time, I want to catch some fish!!

Prep for Vacation

Doyle and I are trying to get ready for vacation starting this weekend and all through next week.  We are going down to Lake Powell where he's spent a lot of time there with his dad and son.  They would have a houseboat with a bunch of other guys and there group individual fishing boats and stay a week.  Doyle has decided it would be more fun if I could go with him and the guy's trip is no girls allowed.  So, we are driving motor home down with the lil 10 ft aluminum fishing boat.  The lake I guess is like 183 miles long, I've never been there don't have a clue what to expect.  He is planning on filling the boat with camping things enough for 3 days, plus fishing stuff.  This man is a planner and a major thinker, when we get there he'll want to launch the boat and park the motor home in parking space, not a camping space.  We'll go down the lake for 3 days as long as the weather permits it.  Remind you, it's been since my herding cattle days (25 years +)  I've slept under the stars and I have this huge fear of snakes.  He's ok with either sleeping in tent or the boat, but that took some talking.  He's thinking on the beach under the stars.  I don't think so!

We have spent the last week every evening going over lists of food and things that we'll need.  I came up with this plan thanks to some co-workers to do the boil-in-a-bag meal.  Pre cook stuff, use the seal-a-meal and freeze it.  Then all you have to do is boil it to warm it, walla dinner!  I suggested things like spaghetti, home made stew, but no he turned his damn nose up to all of that!  The final dinner menu is the pre cooked taco meat, so now I have to pack lettuce and cheese and other stuff for taco's.  Then the next 2 nights will be bbq pork chops and steaks with potato salad.  Just more shit to pack and load.  Now we need steak knifes, bigger bbq'er then the one pan burner and good plates rather the flimsy crap.  He wants cereal in a plastic bowl not paper.  I'm telling you, this has been a roller coaster.  But I believe we've settled  on a complete menu now.  Last night I cooked the taco meat and froze it, pre marinated the chops and the steaks and froze them.  I also bagged individual cereal bags for each day for each of us, then when he looked at that he complained 1 was stale.  So if he knew that why he didn't throw it away instead of leaving in the cupboard?  Tonight I'll finish what I can to prep but he wants to hit the little town of Paige AZ when we get there and buy most of the stuff.  I keep telling him, it's going to be more expensive there, but Mr. know it all, says different.

Last night he packed the sleeping bag and pillows in one pack that is 2 sized to small for the roll.  I'm sure when we get there or sometime during the trip that lil zipper is going to burst, and I'm going to laugh cause, "I told him so".  hee hee  Back to his thinking and stewing about stuff, he's now trying to decide what fishing poles we'll need, are we going to keep any fish so do we need buckets and fillet knifes and that type of stuff.  At this rate, won't won't leave till 1/2 way through the week.  He's really blown off the last 2 nights being tired, going to see his mom, paying bills (good) and thinking and building lists.  He was upset at me for making him go fishing at my lil cabin last Friday night with my daughter.  We weren't even there 24 hours, but it took time out to prep for this big trip, but it's ok he can blow off two evenings!

I sound pissed at him, I'm far from it.  Its funny to me how he's like this, I'm so very glad the older I've gotten the better my patience is, that's all I can say.  I'll post pictures upon our return, if we go at all!  ha ha ha

My Youngest Daughter

My youngest daughter is my sunshine I swear. She's 20 years old going to school to be a Geologist. Its strange, she's always known what she wanted to be her whole life almost. She's always picked up rocks, loved listening to her aunt tell her how mountains were made and stuff. Those two had conversations her whole life about geology type stuff. I think she's probably the only child I know that always knew what she wanted out of her life. Now, she isn't sure when she gets out of school what her next step is, but she has a while to figure that out. I do know it will be playing in the dirt somewhere!

It seems that her and I are the closest out of my two daughters these last few years. But, we've not always had a close relationship. At the age of 16 she started to listen to her dad more and he fed her a lot of bull crap, so she fought me till I gave up and let her move with her dad. Now, she realizes the mistakes and what kind a person her dad is. She still loves her dad and wants hm to be a part of her life, but her and I are closer now more than ever. I have some of my friends tell me how jealous they are of our relationship. She tells me everything (I think, lol). We talk daily via text messages and/or phone calls. I miss her if I don't hear from her.

She just left today after being here for the weekend and we went fishing out at our cabin at the Ruby Marshes. I already miss her. School starts for her tomorrow, so next trip home will be the holidays. It's not like she's thousands of miles away, she's only something like 300 miles away, so I can go see her for the weekend. She lives in my best friends home paying rent. They are a mormon family so they keep her in line and an eye on her. Less for me to worry about her.

Heather is so much fun to be around. She always is smiling and fun to be around. Silly giggly type person. Everyone wants to hang out with her cause she's so happy. She does have mini melt downs here and there and when she does it can be bad. But the most part she is so fun loving and silly and a blessing to be around. Her saying is, "The key to life is Happiness". Which is tattooed across her back.

I'm so proud of my Heather! Love you my daughter!!

The Boyfriend

I was single for about 13 years before I started really dating, I had a few boyfriends here and there and one I lived with for about 6 months before Doyle. Between the one for 6 months and Doyle there was another year of not dating. So I have been single a long time, I've gotten set in my ways I guess one would say. Now in a relationship of about a year and half I'm realizing compromise and the work a relationship takes is some times very overwhelming. But honestly I don't think I really want to go back to the single life. I probably could if I had to, but don't want to. The things I've learned in this last year and half and really would like to know if this is every man or is my Doyle a one of a kind? This man has mood swings worse than a woman I swear. We go through these cycles were he is Mr Happy and we go do stuff in the weekends and evening and then there are other times where he's cranky and wants to sleep all the time. I get some of his mood swings usually weigh around our sexual life. When there is a lot of sex he's a happy dude, when there isn't he's a cranky dude. Oh and the silence kills me. You ask the man a question and he doesn't answer, it's like he ignores you. Some times it's just simple things like "what you want for dinner?" I know her heard me, he just chooses to ignore me. Or when you walk in the door from long day at work and he's already here you say, "Hi Honey!", no freaking reply. This totally drives me insane. But, then later while cooking dinner he'll sneak up behind me and lightly touch my side or my face scaring the crap right out of me. What is this?? Why is he like this? Last week my 2 daughters and my grandson was here and he was so rude to them and didn't speak to them. Yelled at my grandson when he was being loud but that was it. I'm very close to his kids and try to be all the time. In fact we go on vacation with his kids and spouses or significant others. Why does he act like an ass to my children? These last few months he's stop saying, "I love you" all together. Its like I have to beg to get a hug and then it's 1/2 assed. I also beg for kisses most of the time. We used to be the most cuddling couple I've ever seen in bed, we slept in a twin bed for the 1st 3 months we were together, and now in the king size bed we never touch hardly ever. I want to say yes, these are signs that maybe he's cheating on me or he doesn't love me, but I don't think either is the case. He never has time really to have an affair unless it's in the mornings after I leave for work? He loves me, I can tell by some of the things he does for me or just some actions other than these other things are loving actions, just not what I would like. I have been scared though to ask why he doesn't tell me he loves me though. One day I'll say something. He'll be home from work soon so I guess I'll go for now.

Work

A couple months ago I got a new boss after a year of basically no boss at all. Now going from zero management to micro management, I'm really having a hard time to adjust to it. Then this new boss likes to shoot from the hip and jumps before thinking, half ass finish stuff leaving me to do fix it and finish it. My projects are set aside. On top of this I'm in training to become a Six Sigma Green Belt, well my project for the certificate I basically had to abandon and a co-worker is finishing it for me. It's a complete mess. But, I applied for a couple other positions on site and had an interview last week, then they said I'd hear something this week if I got it or not. Still no word today. Tomorrow is my Friday (Thursday) so I'm praying I hear one way or the other tomorrow. I'm really hoping I get this job, it's more of what I do normally and I like the boss and the group it's with. So, keeping toes and fingers crossed. Back to the new boss, something really funny. He's always has this look like he has no clue what your saying. I've never seen anything like it before full time on someone. I mean you see "deer in the headlight" look, and "duh, don't know what your saying" look on people once and awhile, but this guy it's a full time look! I seriously think he's A.D.D. He jumps from one thing to the next in 2 seconds flat. Some times literally, he moves as fast as his brain goes. My lil legs can't keep up with the dude. My new co-worker brings a new meaning to "kissing ass". He turns into a different person and the things he does as a hobby depending on who he is speaking to. He's a tall man, getting fat, but has a small man syndrome big time. He knows everything, done everything, and tells way to much of his personal life. The 1st day we met he informed me of the court hearing between him and his X girlfriend which is the mother of his 1st child. We have a 45 minute drive to work and he didn't shut up the whole ride! I informed him later that day, van ride going and coming to work is for sleeping!! Now he rides the bus, I don't think he likes me very well. hee hee

Back

My daughter Heather has told me I need to blog more, so I'm going to make the effort more often. I noticed it's been over a year since I have blogged, here's to hopes of it not being that far in between any longer. Since last blog, Doyle and I are still together and living together. It's been a good ride, but not without a lot of bumps in the middle. After being single for a long time, it's hard to get into the grove of being part of a couple. I have come to realize men are way different then woman and its amazing how much a woman has to give in a relationship more so than the man. I may put up with a lot more than most, but I guess it's cause I'm still learning and tyring to figure things out. I don't want to do my typical thing and run when things get tough. For the most part we are very happy though. We laugh a lot. He has this damn thing of scaring me all the time. One day he's going to give me a heart attack. We like the same things, we go fishing all the time and his kids are wonderful! We are now in the process of moving his mom out of her house into Doyle's sisters house, cleaning her house out so it can be sold. My Doyle thinks everything has to be saved, so it's all coming to our house, either inside or in the garage. It's becoming frustrating to me because I still have a storage shed full of stuff and so does he, but whats in the house is now mainly hers. But, I'll let it continue for awhile and hope his sisters come claim a bunch of stuff. Later down the road, we'll see if I continue to "just see what happens". My grandson scared us a few weeks ago. His blood level was really low and he had to take him to Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake City. Come to find out he is anemic bad and needed a blood transfusion. The lil bugger was drinking to much milk and not eating and getting the nutrition he needs. Now Daniale is working on getting him to eat and reducing the milk intake. He's still not liking the meats,(what 2 year old does?) but he's eating and taking iron supplements. Her step mom and her dad are not being much help there in Ely, so I think we've decided to bring the two of them home for a few days so maybe I can help whip the lil guy into shape. I'll have both my daughters and my grandson for a few days, that will be so wonderful!! This week my Heather has been here and it's been nice to come home from work and have her here. Doyle seems to have an attitude when my kids are around. I'm not sure why, but I think it's cause he feels it takes the attention away from him. Like I said, silly man. I think Heather and I will go to sushi for lunch today, but I need to clean house, do laundry and go grocery shopping, oh yea.. I have a nail appointment to. So could be a busy day. Work has had a tone of changes. My original boss is now working in the Dominican Republic. We've not really had a boss till this last month or so. We now have a supervisor that is way over the top. He's a micro manager seriously, I think he's male shovinist who doesn't believe in woman and I have a superintendent coming from Peru next week which I hear are woman haters as well. So this could really get interesting. I used to love what I do, but I'm really starting to hate it. Right now I have so many project that I feel like I've been set up to fail. Thankful some of my team believes in me and there for me and will help me succeed. I have, however, applied for other positions within the corporation. I can't leave Barrick cause of the scholarship program for Heather. Plus, honestly I like the mining industry as long as I don't have to dig dirt. ha ha ha I guess for the most part, that brings you up to date. I am going to continue to blog at least weekly from here on out. Crossing fingers...