Tests

I feel like I'm being tested all the time any more.  My love life, my family life, at work and now physically. 

Doyle is a normal typical man, I'd like the think so anyway, but I feel like I'm being tested or he's testing my love all the time.  Now I've been single a long time before him and I'm not sure if this is normal or not?  I know from being from a home where my parents stayed together till the day they died (like to believe they are still together).  I believe that relationships take work on both parts.  But, sometimes I think I'm doing all the work!  One day I'd like to find out this is normal and not a test.

My family I love them so much it hurts but again, some days I think they like to test us all to see if really we are there for them.  Some feel sorry for themselves till they are so sick and expect the rest of us to pick them up and dust them off.  While others are so freaking tough they deal with stuff all alone and don't let us help/or just talk (be a shoulder) until it gets really bad.  Then there are the others that their problems are because of a messed up court system, you hurt for them and don't have a clue how to make them feel better or fix it.  Then the ones that are truly sick and keep a smile on their face all the time no matter what and never complains, the true strong ones.   All of them forgetting that you may have your own problems and issues and needing them as much as they need you, is this a test or what is it?

Work, I don't know how to explain that.  My new boss is young and all gunge ho, wanting to impress the higher ups and have so many ideas.  He moves at light speed from one project to the next never finishing anything.  In the mean time, him and the new guy are buddy buddy kissing all the higher ups.  He has the whole department but me finish our KPI's, which have a large weigh on our bonuses, but I've discovered he didn't have me finish mine?  What is that?  I feel I'm being set up on a constant basis cause I'm not kissing his ass, but the managers and I have a great repor.  I've applied for other positions to try and get out of a department that I've enjoyed these last 3 years, the learning and the experiences, but have had no luck.  Yesterday one of the positions I found out was filled from someone from outside of the company and she didn't even show up for the New Hire class.  But do you think they will hire me for it when I'm more than qualified?  But, it must be a test of something that I'm stuck with this over zealous, eager, judgmental piece of crap!

Physical tests...  I have had a icky stomach now for years, I'm thinking at least 3.  Yes, I have the family inherited IBS that most of us all have.  This that I've had lately is not like that at all.   There were mornings I swore if I didn't know better I'd think I was pregnant.  The pain is up high under my rib cage, mainly in the center.  I sometimes am constipated then other times I have mega diarhea. (Sorry, I know that's gross).   Then when all that gets going it causes things like my IBS to get started as well sometimes.  When it's going full throttle, I feel like I have a knife going clear through me to my back even.  Today I am having tests to see if it's my gallbladder.  Honestly, I hope that is what it is, I'm having night mares that it's something more.  When I was being examined the other day she also mentioned that my thyroid was enlarged, so they are doing a ultrasound on that as well today.  I've NEVER had thyroid issues and I just was blood tested and it turned out normal, so what the hell?  Praying all goes well!!

I hope I pass at least 4 of these tests!  ha ha ha